June
2007
back on my feet..but not quite..
It scares me a bit to realize how much things have normalized.. it is scary to think that all the energy I have are being provided by blood pumping through a still very much broken H…so this is how a zombie exists…moving in time, things done…smile at the right time..even make a crucial decision or two…pretending is the name of the game for now. I’m almost convinced when I say that I am okay. But I really am ok. I think. I’m really doing well, despite (sih) absence in my life (as if “eh” was ever there for me to begin with)….a evol (or was it, really) or maybe it was really nothing..but I can feel the weight of its absence. Nothing comes from nothing. Confusing? Confusing. So what was it then? A passing breeze? A distant tune? It was nothing….so I should be okay, right? And I am doing fine. I really am. I look around me…all is right in my world, everything in the right place..events unfolding as it should..this smile is real..but why do I feel as if I’m still nursing something? a “bh”?! oh well..whatever!
sigh…
